On our drive into Tanzania from Nairobi, I heard this song and started thinking about what it looks like to be "after [God's] heart" and "live holding nothing back." Long-term, I really have no idea, mostly because I have very little idea what my life looks like after about December 14th.
I'm learning more and more to be okay with that and that God is so very present in each moment that living holding nothing back most often happens on that small of a scale.
Here’s what it has looked like in our first few days in
Tanzania to live holding nothing back:
Elizabeth leading an hour-long Bible study the day after we got here.
Dancing for hours in worship at a crusade.
The 14 of us worshipping in the hallway of our house with no
lights on.
Patience with language barriers.
Holding things loosely (plans and possessions).
Meeting neighbors when all you want to do is sleep.
Smiles and songs in hospital wards.
Yesterday we were supposed to do ministry in the morning and
then have a free afternoon. I was looking
forward to having some free time to type some things up so I wouldn’t have to
do it tonight before bed. Well, in the
morning when Pastor Costa got here, he asked me and Liz if we would accompany
him to a funeral of a man who belonged to the church we had worked with in
the village on Friday and Saturday. So, instead of a relaxing afternoon of
resting and getting things done, the afternoon included lots of walking, riding
in 3 different matatus and on a motorcycle, tons of handshaking at a funeral,
and drinking more coke than anyone should ever drink in one sitting. But,
it also included a comforting touch for a wife who just lost her 28-year-old
husband and a baby-girl who just lost her father, praying over the most
precious mama you ever saw, seeing coffee plants, a conversation with Roo in Spanish, and a glimpse of the snowy
summit of Kilimanjaro when the clouds cleared just before sunset.
We’re here for a total of 20 days. At this point we have less than 2 weeks
left. There’s no time to hold anything
back.
